Lucrezia was speechless. What could she say? Although she still had hoped that her father might return to her, she also prepared for the news that her father might be dead. The leader’s voice softly continued, “As you know autumn is coming. It is the storming season, we can’t continue the search.” Lucrezia looked at him directly. He was right, she could not risk other people’s lives, although she really wanted to. Her heart sank into endless darkness, suddenly a woman’s crying was heard. She was awakened, and realized that a woman was coming in to mourn for her husband. She asked the leader with a clear mind, “What can I do?” The leader told her to phone her mother at once. On the way to the telephone, she saw several women, some with their children, crying. She used her trembling had to take up the phone. The call was answered. “Mama,” Lucrezia murmured. “Oh, Lucrezia dear. What are you doing now?” Her mother asked merrily. Lucrezia did not know what to say. “How can I tell mama the news?” she thought. She screwed up her courage, “Mama, papa…” her courage disappeared. “papa will not come back with me.” Her voice was as little as a mouse. “That’s fine. Just tell him not to get drunken. Oh, I have to hang up now. Bye!” The phone was hung up. When she looked at the wives of the dead mountaineers, she wanted to cry, too. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks, she stroke them away. She could not bear the scene of the mourning of the women. She had to leave, back to her home, her beloved hills and streams. She strove hard to tell the other team members calmly that she was leaving for her home. They kindly offered help but Lucrezia refused.
She arrived at her homeland. She would either take a two-hour bus journey or a six-hour walk back to her home. She chose to walk, she wanted to seek the courage through the walk. How could she tell her mother the news? Her mother would not stand this. She needed to be strong enough to comfort her mother. Maybe she could cry with her mother and start a new life together. As she thought, she lost her mind. Without any notice, she was already in front of her house.
She knocked the door. As she expected, her mother answered the door happily. “Oh, why? You’ve come back!” she exclaimed. Lucrezia could not move, she had to speak it out, “Mama,” she took a deep breath. “Mama, …papa has stayed in K2. He… he has left us.” She cried painfully. Her mother was shocked, her soft face twisted a little and then she felt unconscious. Lucrezia stepped forward to hold her. She took her mother to the sofa and gently laid her on it. Lucrezia looked at her mother, “She has a soft face and a tender heart. Papa always told me that it was the tender heart he loved most.” Lucrezia thought. As she held her mother’s hand, her mother slowly opened her eyes. Lucrezia’s eyes were filled tears, she whispered, “Mama, I…” To her surprise, her mother pushed her away. She has lost her mind. She stood up and ran out of the house, calling wildly, “Francesco, Francesco!” Lucrezia sprang to her feet, but she did not have the energy to stand up. She dropped to the floor. The pictures of K2 came back to her mind. K2 was really beautiful, and magnificant. When she closed her eyes, she could feel her beauty. She was told to love mountains since she was merely a child. Winds always came with mountains, she loved winds, too. “Why? Why did these beautiful, beloved things take papa’s life?” she couldn’t understand, she refused to understand. Her tears kept pouring out, she could not stop it. She bit her lips, she wanted to stop crying. She had to be strong and helped her mother, but she also wanted to have a good cry. The two warring emotions crashed inside her heart. She was exhausted and fell asleep.
When she woke up, it was morning already. Her mother sat on a chair and watched her. Her soft look was filled with sorrow, her eyes reddened and were filled with sadness. Lucrezia slowly rose up and sat beside her mother under her knees. Her mother trembled all over, she sobbed, “Lucrezia,” she said. “Papa has…” She could continue. Lucrezia slowly put her arms around her, to let her mother feel her support and presence. “I will be a good girl.” She promised. “I will take care of myself and you. You will be proud of me.” she said softly beside her mother’s ear. Her mother spent her whole day weeping and mourning for her husband. Lucrezia realized that she had grown up and needed to take up the responsibilities of adults.
The last year of the middle school began, Lucrezia went to school as usual. She worked hard to get good results in order to make her mother happy. She appeared to be normal, when her mother mentioned her father, she could smile; when her mother began to cry, she comforted her. Her mother was happy that she had a brave, gentle little girl. Little did she know, Lucrezia was also fighting bravely against the nightmares. Nearly every night, she dreamt of her father. She saw him but she could not reach him. She woke up and stared at the sky. The stars were bright and she identified them until she was tired and she fell asleep. After three months, Lucrezia felt better. One of the reasons was that she devoted to her study. Another reason was that Uncle Guidarini helped her mother and her a great deal. Uncle Guidarini lived on the other side of the hill they lived. He was a good friend to Francesco Noin and his family. He lived alone and was a farmer who owned about a hundred goats. In the past, he usually bought some cheese he made and milk to his friend. After his friend’s death, he usually traveled for two hours to visit Lucrezia and her mother once a week. Both the mother and the daughter were grateful towards his kindness. But the sorrow still remained inside Lucrezia’s heart. Sometimes, when she came back from school, she would walk to the stream where her father usually went, fascinating that her father would be there again some day. Then sadness struck her heart, and she spent the remaining day reading her father’s notes. Her mother still mourned for her husband, but clearly something worried her more. Lucrezia could not find it out, Her mother often had some discussions with Uncle Guidarini when he stayed at Lucrezia’s home for dinner.
Eight months after the death of Lucrezia’s father, Lucrezia’s mother told her daughter Uncle Guidarini would come and live with them and they might get married soon. Lucrezia was shocked. This was totally unexpected. She knew her mother did not transfer her affections for her father to Uncle Guidarini. She guessed she was the reason behind the marriage: her mother thought she needed a father. Lucrezia painfully realized that she was not strong enough and made her mother worried. The marriage took place quietly a month later. Lucrezia blessed the couple truthfully, she hoped that Uncle Guidarini would take care of her mother. She could still call him Uncle Guidarini.
Summer was coming again. The sound of the wind and also the mixture of birds’ songs again filled the late spring air. She could not enjoy these, they reminded her of her father. She still has not recovered from the shock of her mother’s marriage and she simply could not tolerate the memories of losing her father. One night, she woke up from the same nightmare, she quickly found a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote something on the paper, dressed up and packed her things into a bag. She slipped the paper into her mother’s bedroom. Then she went out of the house.
