“What do I have to do now?” Noin asked herself. She was on the way back to the to-be headquarter of the Preventers. She has just visited Relena, the only relative of Zechs. “She was a strong girl,” thought Noin. “much stronger than she was when she was fourteen.” Relena accepted her brother’s death, although Noin denied it and also she kept on working to achieve peace. Noin got off the bus and went straight into the changing room. She opened her locker and took the new uniform our and planned to wear it. A card-like thing dropped on the floor. She picked it up and looked at it carefully. It was her family photo, with her papa, mama and her. Her mother seemed smiling at her. How warm her smile was! How gentle she was! Suddenly, she knew what she had to do. She went to Lady Une’s office and asked for a holiday. Actually, Lady wanted to give her a holiday, too. Noin had never had a holiday since she was graduated from the Academy and she had already worked days and nights after the Eve War. She thought Noin needed a rest and maybe some time to think. She gave a two-week holiday and sincerely wished her to have a good time.
Noin was at the same place again. She had to decide whether she needed to take a bus or walk all the way home. This time, she chose to take a bus, she was eager to go home again and see her mother. The bus journey still needed two hours. When she was in the bus, many things came across her mind. She remembered and she would always remember the route she was taking at that moment. Her father left home through that route; she fled from her home through that route and then she returned again. She observed her reflection on the window: she became more mature through those years although her appearance didn’t change much. She gained so many experiences and made many friends. “Zechs…where are you?” she suddenly thought. She bitterly smiled, when her father left her, she went back to her mother to seek support; and then when Zechs left her alone, she went to her mother again. “It’s not fair,” she thought. “why do I make her worried each time when I am alone?” Her thoughts turned to her mother. Was she happy? Was she taken care of? Did she have another child? Her mother was quite young when Noin left. It was possible that Noin had a brother or a sister. She looked at the sky, if she really had a younger brother or sister, she would teach them to recognize the stars in the sky. She would protect him or her from any harm, just like Zechs protecting Relena. “Oh! Why did I always think of him?” Noin whispered. The bus traveled slowly, Noin was so tired and she fell asleep.
She nervously walked down to her home, a house, which she left at midnight with her most valuable memories behind. She prepared for anything to happen: she would be scolded heavily by her mother, or even cast out by her. She gently knocked the door. Someone answered the door; it was her mother. She looked pale when she saw Noin standing at the door. Then, she burst into tears. Noin only said a word, “Mama!” she gave her mother a warm and big hug. She was, at last, home again, after years of training and fighting. She was still her beloved daughter. Her mother cried softly and whispered, “Oh, Lucrezia dear, my dearest!” repeatedly. Noin’s eyes were moistened with tears but she did not cry. She just said, “I am sorry, mama, for what I’ve done. I’m back.” They stood there for a very long time. After that, her mother took her hand and invited her in. Nothing was changed during those years; the dining table, the sofa, the fireplace and even the smell of the house were still the same. Noin felt the warmth that the place brought her immediately. Her father’s notes were still on the shelf and she saw her father’s photo above the fireplace. Her heart stirred. “Do you like to have some tea?” her mother gently asked. “Mama, sit down. I’ll go and get something to eat.” Noin smiled. As they were having tea, Noin looked around again and asked for Uncle Guidarini. Her mother’s face darkened, and did not say a word. Noin waited and waited and at last, she said, “I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to be naughty when I ran away. I love uncle as much as you do. I sincerely hope that you two will have a happy life together, even I have to go away again to make you two happy.” She looked at her mother directly; she wanted her to understand. Suddenly, her mother cried again, “Do you mean you have to leave me soon? I know you hate me…” Noin was really nervous, there were some misunderstandings between her mother and her. “I just want to apologize to uncle. I was so naughty…” Her mother sobbed, “He’s gone, he’s gone forever.” Noin couldn’t believe her ears; her uncle has gone, leaving her mother alone. She tried to her best to sooth her mother and later she knew that her uncle had died three months ago in an accident. She tried to say something good but she did not listen. Both of them did not say a word for a whole afternoon. Noin started to prepare their dinner in the evening, to her surprise, there was nearly no food at home. As she cooked, she wondered what things had happened when she was not at home. She had only two weeks’ time to find out. Originally, she wanted to take a rest at home, let her mind settle a little bit, but her home went to a chaotic situation. What had happened?
When they were having dinner, Noin couldn’t help noticing that her mother ate much less than she did in former years. “Mama, are you OK?” Noin asked tenderly and with concern. Her mother raised her long, dark eyebrows and looked at Noin. She could clearly see the pain and guilt lying deep inside her daughter’s eyes. “Nothing.” She answered. She smiled bitterly, her lips moved but she stopped immediately. She hoped Noin did not notice this. She then stood up and went into the kitchen. She pulled the wardrobe out. Noin stood near the kitchen door and saw all these. She saw her mother taking a bottle of pills out of the wardrobe and took two of those pills. “Why? Was mama sick?” she thought. She volunteered to wash the dishes, so that she could have a look at the pills. They were some strong painkillers. She memorized the name of the hospital and the doctor written on the bottle and determined to make the whole thing clear.
Next morning, she told her mother she had something to do in the city, so she left early in the morning. She went to the hospital straightly and found the doctor. She knocked the door. “Come in, please.” The doctor answered. The doctor immediately noticed a young stranger was stepping in. “Can I help?” the doctor asked politely. Noin came to the doctor’s desk and gave the name of her mother. “I’m her daughter, and I’ve left home some years ago. I saw her taking in these pills,” showing the doctor the pills. “Can you tell me what happened to my mother?” The doctor quickly searched for her mother’s file. He read the file carefully and asked, “How was your mother when you left home?” “What do you mean?” Noin could only guess what would come next. “I am sorry to say that your mother has got cancer.” The doctor said solemnly and paused to let her think for a while. “She may live for another year.” Noin was just able to stare at the desk without saying a word.
She went home with a heavy heart, she felt very guilty. “I should not leave home for such a long time.” She thought. Although she did send letters to her mother, her mother could never reach her. She did not even know that she was a soldier. She would never tell her mother this. As she traveled back home, she quickly figured out what she had to do. The days that she could share with her mother were few. She had to treasure them and try her best to cheer her up. She thought of the days when her father just left them, how immature she was. This time, she would behave better. She was a stronger person then. The idea of being a preventer flashed back, she needed to traveled a lot as a preventer, so she would have little time with her mother. Did she have any choices? She thought of Zechs again, she knew Zechs wanted her to stay by Miss Relena’s side, helping her out and protecting her. She pushed herself to make up her mind, everything had to be settled before the holiday ended. When she arrived home, her mother was taking an afternoon nap. She phoned Miss Relena, asking whether she was fine or not. And, with some hesitations, she asked her whether she could work alone, or whether Noin could help her anything. She could feel the surprise in the tone of Relena, but she seemed to understand and asked her to make a decision according to her own will.
Noin was relieved. She then phoned to Lady Une. “Lady Une,” Noin began. “I would like to resign my post as a preventer. I will send you my resignation letter tomorrow.” “Noin,” Lady Une was really surprised. “Why did you make this decision so suddenly? I am sure you still have other choices.” “I’m sorry,” Noin answered calmly. “I know it is quite sudden for me to ask for resignation. But apparently, I have no choices.” Lady Une wanted to know about the whole story. “Noin, all of us were sad about the death of Zechs. But we’ll live through this…” Noin interrupted rudely, “Lady Une, there is one thing I want to clarify. I don’t think Zechs is dead.” She stopped abruptly, realizing her tone was too harsh. “Trust me, Zechs will come back one day. And, he is not the reason for me to resign my post…it was my mother.” “Your mother?” Lady Une was really surprised as if asking whether Noin had a living mother. “Yes, you can find her in my personal profile.” Noin answered softly, so her mother did not hear this. “My mother was very sick and I think it’s better for me to stay with her.” She paused for awhile to think what she could say. “Maybe, I can still help you as a friend, not a preventer.” The conversation continued. At last, Lady Une agreed that Noin could resign from her post but her code name would be retained. Noin could come back at anytime with two years as she wished. Noin promised to help her if she could.
“Did I really love Zechs?” she asked herself, looking out of the window. Soft breezes passed her as she thought this question over and over again. She was really confused, if she loved Zechs, she should feel sad at that time. However, she did not feel sad at all. Sometimes, she missed him deeply, but she also felt relieved when no one found him. “This is the only way he can start a new life.” She told herself. “He can have a new identity, start his life again and make some new friends. He will forget all his nightmares. Maybe…some years later, he will come back and meet his old friends with a care-free soul.” She smiled at this thought. She saw Hercules again, “Thanks, Hercules, for making half of my wish comes true.” She whispered. It was strange for Zechs and Noin, although they were the best friends of each other. They never took a picture together and sent each other presents. They just learned and fought together with each other for years, so the only souvenir was the memories of the days in the Academy. It was lucky that Zechs never knew that Noin loved him. Otherwise, Zechs would probably laugh even though Zechs never laughed. It would be the funniest joke ever for Zechs. Breezes lightly touched the skin of Noin, “We’re the best friends, as ever.” Her mind was as clear as crystals. She could put all her effort and attention to her mother.
